Tomorrow, I have my first appointment with Baylor at Baylor Sammons Cancer Center. I am so excited that I was able to get accepted with Baylor. This means hope. This means I stand a better chance at surviving longer. And that is all I want for my family. Survival. God is so amazing!
I have been having seizures almost daily now. My oxygen levels have been lower than usual. I suffered a few small strokes or TIA's last week, but I am doing better now. The seizures I have no recollection of, but they scare my children, and I absolutely hate that. This is the IPF...not the lung cancer, or it could be both. I really don't know to be honest. I guess I will find out more tomorrow.
The kids, Kevin and I had a wonderful Fourth of July. I made sure we did (don't ever take me to a fireworks stand; I am worse than our kids). We drove to Pottsboro and spent the evening with our very good friends Jenny and Chris. We all swam, ate hot dogs, and then put on a fireworks spectacular for our friends. By the time we made it home, our kiddos were wore out completely. It was a night that will never be forgotten...and one they so desperately needed. One night away from cancer...one night away from the house...and one night away from IPF. Our dog Badger was not so happy that we were gone though. He had strung all of our lawn furniture, well, all over our lawn. And, when we returned home, there he sat on our garage steps with the biggest grin a dog could probably ever have.
For many of you the list below will be one you have seen many times over. But, when I begin to feel guilty of all my many sins(as many as there are stars). I think about this list. I do get a kick of how God has shown through the ages that we can ALL be used for His purposes. If you haven't seen this list before, think of one of the worst sins that you could commit and what God would say to you. "Yep, you are right. You are horrible. Can't use you..." You won't be able to list it. Don't believe me? Read this list:
Abraham was too old
David was an adulterer and a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Gideon was afraid
Issac was a daydreamer
Isaiah preached naked
Jacob was a liar
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Jonah ran from God
Joseph was abused
Lazarus was dead!
Leah was ugly
Martha worried about everything
Moses stuttered
Naomi was a widow
Noah was a drunk
Paul was too religious, and before that was a murder of Christians
Peter denied Christ
Rahab was a prostitute
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
The disciples fell asleep while praying
The Samaritan woman was divorced, multiple times over
Timothy had an ulcer
Zacchaeus was too small
Now tell me, what have you done that you can't ask forgiveness for, move on with life and wait for God to use you?
I am irritable and stressed out and if I could, I would leap right out of my skin and it makes me crazy. So much so that I can't get a grip under my own power. Do I slow down and "be still" as the scripture says? Oh no. I have too much to do (I know that sounds so stupid, but that's internally how I am feeling).
"Just as a spinning ballerina must keep returning her eyes to a given point to maintain balance, so must you keep returning your focus to Christ." (Sarah Young) And it dawned on me, I had been doing just the opposite. That's why I have been feeling so dizzy and out of control.
So, now I fall on my knees and return to the only yes...the only answer in this life, Him. I will give Him all of my stress and worries, because I know He truly has me.
Love you all and truly mean it and God loves you too,
Shanna XOXO
Here is the link to our Go Fund Me Page to help with medical and travel expenses: gofund.me/hope4shanna2016
Official blog Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/shannabananahealthandfitness
Official prayer warrior page for my fight against lung cancer: facebook.com/hope4shanna
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