Mirror of Erised

I got approved for my social security, finally! No court date or anything! That takes a huge amount of stress off of my shoulders! Now my family will be able to make it and I will feel like I am actually doing something to help. Thank you Jesus.

The heart may freeze or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future
There is no past
Thank God this moment's not the last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret- or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today.

Lyrics from No Day But Today- From the musical Rent

Has cancer changed your perspective on life? What do you value most? What do you most desire?

"Can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?" Harry shook his head.

"Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is...It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you."

                                                           -Dumbledore from Harry Potter
                                                           and the Sorcerer's Stone

I am one of the lucky one's who despite a Stage IV diagnosis of lung cancer, and the terrible prognosis that goes along with it, is doing remarkably well. Granted, I sleep much more than the average mommy of three children. Compared to where I could be, I am doing fabulously well. It is always there, of course, lurking in the background, but often we can mostly ignore it.

Sometimes, however, its impact sneaks up on me in the least likely of places. 

"However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible...It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."

So, how do I prepare my children for a future that doesn't include me?

We have talked about Dumbledore's sage advice, that if you get lost in what you wish could be, you will end up missing out on the life that you get to live. Harry's parents are gone, and no amount of gazing into that mirror will bring them back. His parents would want him to relish the life he has, and find the joy that is his to discover.

It is impossible to ignore how profoundly my illness has impacted our family. But, as I remind myself  over and over (and over and over), none of us are promised tomorrow. All we can control are the choices we make today, and the life that we lead from moment to moment.

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."

If I looked into the Mirror of Erised, I think I would see my husband and I growing old together, watching our children grow up and become the remarkable adults that I know they will be.

Has cancer changed you? Do you live your life differently now? And if you looked in the Mirror of Erised, what would you see?

Love you all and truly mean it...and God loves you too,

Shanna xoxoxo

Official prayer warrior page for my fight against lung cancer: facebook.com/hope4shanna

Official blog Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/shannabananahealthandfitness

My Go Fund Me Page (any and all donations will help with my medical funds)gofundme.com/hope4shanna2016