Never Pass up the Opportunity to Pee

I am realizing that I have been, perhaps, too delicate in describing my health situation. People keep asking me questions that indicate that I need to be more blunt about the current state of affairs.

So here are the facts. No holds barred:

I have Stage 4 Adenocarcinoma, a non small cell lung cancer (NSCLC). It is incurable. I also have Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, which is also incurable. NSCLC is considered terminal with a life expectancy of only 8 months. I have lived 7 of those 8 months which is a blessing and a miracle for me. IPF has a life expectancy of 3 years. I have lived 1 out of those three years. Since there is no cure, there is no end date to whatever treatment they decide to do. I will continue to have chemo or radiation (or whatever treatment they decide is best for me) for the rest of my life. The only surgery they are talking about doing is the VATS procedure and even that is risky because my lungs may not wake up after surgery is over. There is no other plan to do surgery because the cancer and the IPF are spreading, making it removing it from my lung pointless according to current thinking on the subject.

Not only do they have MUCH better methods for managing all the terrible side effects of chemo, the whole way of thinking about treatment is undergoing and interesting and exciting shift. 

It used to be that the three tools for cancer treatment were to cut it out (surgery), burn it out (radiation), or kill it with poison (chemotherapy). While these three are still used extensively, there are a few new approaches. For example, Avastin, is technically not chemo at all, but biologic therapy. Rather than killing the cancer outright, it starves it by preventing it from creating blood vessels to feed the tumors.

Another very exciting treatment is based on finding the driving mutation of the cancer, figuring out what went wrong to make it grow out of control, and stopping that mechanism with a targeted drug. There are two well researched mutations for NSCLC, EGFR, and ALK. My cancer does not show either of these mutations, but there are others being researched currently. If we find my driving mutation and match it with the correct drug, controlling my cancer could involve a daily pill, with fewer side effects than chemo.

The third and perhaps most innovative line of research involves using the patient's own immune system to track down and kill the cancer. 

So, although the prognosis of my diseases is pretty much horrible, I do not feel entirely foolish for remaining perpetually optimistic. With all the changes going on, the statistics are becoming outdated. Also I am young ( the average age at diagnosis is 72) and healthy (I mean other than the cancer and IPF!), which will (hopefully) put me on the good side of the bell curve.

No one knows what the future holds.

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I am two posts away from 200 posts. The first few cancer posts were a way to let friends and family know what was going on, and to avoid having to explain details over and over. While this remains a major focus, I now find more reasons to write. For me, reading blogs by people going down this strange path has been vitally important; I hope that I might provide that comfort for others.

                                                _________________

And while I am very happy to be making these new connections in cancer land, there is one other very important reason why I write.

I write because there are conversations I may never get to have with my kids. One day they may read my words and I hope that will give them some sort of comfort. It is a way for them to really know and understand me, to understand how I view the world, and what I find important about how we travel through life. I want them to know how much they motivate me to be a stronger person. And I want them to know and understand that I love them more than I could ever explain, and I will love them for all eternity.

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Cancer is forcing me to learn a whole new kind of patience. Though I am starting to feel fairly decent on my new medications, my stomach is still unpredictable, and I don't have the energy I used to have. In some ways, because I feel close to normal it is all the more frustrating to face my limitations. I can't multi-task as seamlessly as I used to, which I attribute to the powerful medications that have been bombarding my body for the past six months. I find myself getting overwhelmed when I'm trying to follow several things at once, whereas I used to thrive in these situations. This experience is forcing me (sometimes dragging me kicking and screaming), to become more patient with myself and accept that things may need to move at a slightly different pace now. 

I have learned that your whole life can change in an instant.

Case in point:

Kevin and I were best friends...that is all we ever were. We met in 1998. 

I asked him to marry me in June. He said yes, and we got married in November.

When something is right, don't wait!

I don't mean to say act foolishly, just don't waste time doubting yourself and making excuses.

          And if my kids are reading this one day: remember that dad and I were 

         best friends first and both in our twenties. We had years of dating 

         experience so we were able to assess the situation well. Be cautious 

        of rushing into a lifelong experience at age 18.

When an exciting opportunity presents itself, always say yes!

I think this philosophy has always been a big part of what drives me. As a result of this, I have led a pretty great life.

But I'm scared

That's okay, I'm scared too.

I've been called fearless, but they're wrong.

I'm, sometimes, beyond terrified.

But sometimes, beyond terrified

Is where you need to be.

So now I am trying to balance impatience with patience, and gain everything I can from both. I guess this is my gift from cancer....kinda wish I could have learned an easier way.

My wishes for you....

Enjoy the moment

Play

Love

Laugh

Make Mistakes

Be Bold

Say Yes

Live

And never pass up the opportunity to pee.

Love you all and truly mean it...and God loves you too,

Shanna xoxoxo

Official prayer warrior page for my fight against lung cancer: facebook.com/hope4shanna

Official blog Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/shannabananahealthandfitness

My Go Fund Me Page (any and all donations will help with my medical funds)gofundme.com/hope4shanna2016