This Is Me...

   This blog is going to be just a bit different. I have posted so much about my illnesses and in turn, I feel like I am becoming my illnesses. So, I am going to let all of my readers into the world that is me...without my illnesses. I think it is important for me to have this blog so that when I feel like my illnesses are overtaking me, I can come back and read who it is I really am. 

1. My favorite colors are pink and black. Some may argue that black is not a color, but I actually find black to be quite beautiful and peaceful (hopefully that doesn't make me sound morbid). 
   
2. I love romanticism and being wooed. I live for simple things like candlelit dinners, a single rose, a cheesy poem, or even just a tiny kiss on the cheek. I love all things mushy.
   
3. I love being a mommy more than anything in the world. I found out that being a mommy is something I am really good at. I love making them smile because they make me smile on a constant basis. Their love is a constant. My life before them was simply a mere existence.
   
4. I am an excellent cook! Typically when I feel up to cooking I cook something that takes me all day. Everything I make is homemade. I spoil the kids and Kevin...and I take pride in that. 
   
5. God is my number 1! He has always worked miracles on my family. He has never let me down. When I need comfort the most, I find my solace in Him. He calms all of the storms that live inside of me. I will forever preach about God's love. 
   
6. I love Texas. I was born and raised in Sweetwater, Texas and though I no longer live there, it will always be home to me. Texas is beautiful...and basically like its own country. I am so proud to be a Texas Girl. 
   
7. I am a huge fan of the Texas Longhorns (Hook 'EM'), Pittsburgh Steelers, Boston Red Sox, and the Texas Rangers. My brother turned me into a bit of a tomboy. I get loud....especially when I watch my Longhorns play. 
   
8. I have a really big heart, and sometimes, that is my downfall. But, I will never change who I am. I do have to find a happy medium in there somewhere. I realize I cannot help everyone...even though I try. When I love, I love hard. When I fall, I fall even harder. And, this heart of mine tends to be a little more emotional than most. But, this is me. And I love me for me. 
   
9. I love Koala Bears. I have never seen a Koala Bear in person, but my best friend who lives in Australia sent me a stuffed one that I named Charlie. He goes with me everywhere. He is my comfort. I hope to one day be able to hold a real live Koala...because let's face it, they are just so darn cute!
   
   
   
10. I love my pets. My dog means the entire world to me. I also have a cat and a guinea pig, but they are not officially mine. My Callie girl comforts me when I am sick, loves to give me kisses first thing in the mornings, and is simply spoiled rotten. When Kevin is at work, she is my cuddle buddy. She hates it when he is home because that means she cannot sleep with me. I would be completely lost without my sweet Callie girl. 
    

   There are so many other things I love about my life. These are just a few of them that make me who I am. Music is something else that is a major influence to me, it always has been. I can literally get lost in lyrics for hours...and the music behind the lyrics as long as it is not new age country, rap, or heavy metal. I typically listen to Christian, 90's and 80's music, though I do like older music as well. I think I was born in the wrong era. 

   I am not my illnesses...and my illnesses do not have control of everything that I am. I am a simple Texas girl who adores coffee in the mornings, kisses, stuffed animals, my dog, music, pajamas, sports, laughter, spending time with my family, cooking, learning, teaching, and cuddling with my love.

   Despite everything, I am moving forward and moving on. Despite how much the past year has been marred with pain, suffering, loss, confusion, and at least one million crisis of identity, I've done it. It's about the fact that against the most formidable of enemies, I've won. I am winning, because I do not give up!

   I can certainly learn many lessons from this, and many of us with illness- especially those with a pre-illness life- will agree that we all live differently now, because we are aware that time is short, finite, and uncertain. We have to be thankful for everyday we have, and all that we are able to experience with the time we have. 

   If illness has taught me anything, it's to live life out-loud, to not hold anything back, because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring. And it helps that I am in love. More than I ever thought was possible. It is truly such an amazing gift. 

   In the end, love is all there is. Love given and love received. Pure, unadulterated love that isn't apologized for or couched in lame platitudes.