Gratitude: A Day to Reflect and be Grateful

   There are days when you have a hard time. Days when you can't think of anything but what is going wrong. It is on those days that I find it most important to step back and look around me at all the things I am grateful for.
   Today is a day I want to really look around and pay attention to what is in front of me, I know I have so much to be grateful for!

• I am grateful for the cool air we experienced today. It is August in Texas and Texans do not EVER experience 75 degree weather in the middle of August. I was able to spend a good majority part of my day outside watching my kids enjoy the "fall-like" temperature. 
• I am grateful I woke up today! Every day that God allows me to wake up and be a part of life, I am grateful! 
• I am grateful for my beautiful house. I am grateful for a place to live that is safe and peaceful. I live on over 5 acres of land and get to experience the most incredible sunrises and sunsets. I couldn't be happier with my home.
• I am grateful for my three precious kids. Each one of them has their very own personality, yet, I see me in all three. My oldest son is stubborn and strong. He rarely listens to advice and he is truly his own person. My daughter is a beautiful flower. She is giving, kind, warm, has a huge heart, but, she is also very very sneaky! And then, she acts so very innocent! My youngest is Mr. Personality. He is a ball full of energy and is the center of attention. He likes to dress "sharp" (he wants me to buy him a Tuxedo) and he is very rarely sitting still. He is a mess.
• I am grateful to Kevin...so grateful. He has been my caretaker and my rock. He works so hard to provide for us while trying to help me when he is off work. He is truly my best friend. God works in mysterious ways. I never thought He would bring me back to Kevin...but He knew what was best for the kids and I and I am truly grateful for that.
• I am grateful to my mom and step-dad. They step in and help me whenever I can't. Sometimes, they take the kids for a few nights just so I can rest...especially when I was on chemo. I know they will have to carry a pretty big burden when I have my surgery. They will alternate with Kevin on taking care of them because they work days and he works nights. 
• I am grateful that I have friends that I can reach out to, even if I don't get to see them in person.
• I am grateful that I am emotional. I like being able to have deep feelings, and I like being able to express them. I used to hate that about me because it had a tendency to scare people off. Now, I am just grateful that I have come to accept that this is who I am.
• I am grateful that I have such a forgiving God and that He gave His only Son to die for my sins. I am blessed to know that He will never forsake me and that He is the reason I am able to write these words now.

   I really do appreciate life so much! I love my life! That's pretty important I think. I love my life, all the good parts, all the bad parts, all the fun parts, all the hard parts...I truly love my life. 
   I am so grateful that I wrote this post, because I needed it. I needed to remind myself that things are going to happen (my impending surgery that scares the life out of me). They are going to be the way they are, no matter what. I cannot change any of it. I keep trying to bend things and mold them into what I want them to be. I keep fighting to make things happen faster (I have never been a patient person) than what they are, and well, I needed to remind myself...it's going to happen, or it's not, and that is perfectly acceptable. 
   Yesterday is gone, I can't worry about all that happened yesterday. Tomorrow isn't here yet so I cannot do anything about tomorrow. So, today I'll do what I can, and that's it. If something comes up and makes it difficult or gets in the way, I am just going to go with the flow and not get all bent out of sorts. Just breathe. It will either get done, or it won't, and maybe it wasn't meant to be. I am so very grateful I realized that. 
   There's the saying about giving a man a fish versus teaching him to fish. While there is the obvious meaning that giving someone a skill upon which they can rely to meet their needs enables them to become self-sufficient in a very literal way, there is also the underlying idea that successfully meeting our own needs creates a sense of empowerment that fosters continued self-reliance, one that likely translates into other arenas of life. Over the past year, I have had to surrender many of the roles that fueled my sense of empowerment, leaving me feeling helpless and useless. I need to indulge my independent streak whenever and wherever I can. And I am grateful that I do get to have rare occasions when I have enough energy to do just enough to feel even the slightest bit of independence.