I have had a hard time dealing with my cancer and feel like I am living life on a Merry-Go-Round, but I know I have to keep fighting for my family. My mom is so confused by all of this, it is about to drive her insane, and I wish I could explain it to her in a way where she would understand, Her fear that I am not getting the correct treatment is getting the best of her.
After cancer hits you, you cope and move on. But I think the most important part is how you cope. Many people are familiar with Scott Hamilton, the Olympic medal winning figure skater. But I am not sure that everyone knows about his cancer diagnoses. In addition to testicular cancer in 1989, he has also been diagnoses with brain tumors, several times. And he has also developed that awesome resource ChemoCare which provides a huge amount of information on chemotherapy regimens, including the all time favorite, side effects. His last diagnosis was last spring.
He spoke about this recently with People Magazine, that ever popular medical reference. I found the video very interesting and provided some thought provoking insights. Watch it all the way to the end (its less than 3 minutes), and then think for a bit.
A cancer diagnosis is a big fall in your life. Actually its not a fall, its more like it threw you down three flights of stairs. But you have to regroup and go on with your life. You still need to go to the grocery store, have surgery, drive your children to school, do the laundry, deal with surgical drains, mop the kitchen floor, dust the living room, make the beds, hang out with friends, and go to more damn doctor appointments that you ever thought possible. And deal with this huge emotional wave of medical crap.
Its not what happens when you fall, its how you handle it.
I can go weeks, even a few months, and feel that I am doing okay and I am in status quo of a semi-healthy state. Then I go over to the other side and think my body has let me down and I have some new ailment. Or an ailment has decided to act up again.
Its just unfair. Seriously.
But I digress. I felt well for about a week. By well, I mean sort of normal. Then we came home and my back started killing me. And my knee hurts. And my neck hurts. Then I am sure next week at least for a few days, I will feel fine.
The hard part is the balancing. Every day I wake up optimistic and then I do something like try to move, or get up to head for the bathroom. Some days I can manage the basics without saying 'ooch, ouch' constantly. Some days, people start to look at me funny when I start talking to myself 'ooch, ouch, ooch, ouch, ooch, ouch....' You get it.
So some days its good. Some days its not. I never know. I can have big plans for the day and then my body says 'no you aren't going anywhere'. I can't count the number of times I have changed plans simply because I can't go anywhere.
Remember this time of year, though magical in so many ways, puts strain on even the healthiest of people. It can be overwhelming for cancer patients.
November is lung cancer awareness month. Wear pearl to support all of us struggling and all of those lost to this terrible disease.
Also, we have started the fundraising campaign again because aggressive radiation is not cheap nor is our travel expenses. The link to donate is gofundme.com/hope4shanna2016.
Love you all and truly mean it and God loves you too,
Shanna xoxo
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