12 July 2016

I'm Fighting Cancer...What's Your Superpower?

Ah yes...Today had to be the day that I woke up depressed. I saw the world in a whole different way, but that could also be because I woke up with my 80 lb dog's paws in my back. I need a car and I am stressing out about how I am going to get back and forth to my doctor's appointments in Dallas. I know..I know...I should just give it to God and let Him handle it. But like I have said so many times now, that is easier said than done. I took a nap, and then woke up feeling so much better. Maybe the weight of the world does not always have to be on my shoulders. Duh! That is why God is here!

So, I sent my husband to the store today to purchase some hair dye. I was tired of seeing my hair blonde and to be quite honest with you, it was not helping me with my self-esteem. My natural color is black so that is what I told him to buy. My hair turned out almost purplish but I absolutely love it. I feel so much prettier now. The confidence issue was also not helping with my depression...at ALL!




















Being still alive is all swell and notable, but today I am going to be a party pooper due to some terminology that is often used with cancer patients.

The distinction between a survivor and a non-survivor not only disregards, it is also somewhat disrespectful to everyone who really wanted to stay at this party but could not; the many who cancer has forcibly taken. Labeling someone a survivor seems to imply that remaining alive is merit based when in fact, so much of who gets to stay and who has to go is attributed simply to chance.

Secondly, I don’t care for the been there/done that feel of a noun such as survivor. My relationship to cancer is not and likely never will be past tense. It may look easy, but this staying alive stuff is hard, hard work. It’s a full time job and I am laboring all the time; there are no days off when you have terminal cancer. Therefore, I prefer an active word–a verb. I am surviving cancer.

Words have power. I feel that survivor is meant both to honor (sort of the anti-victim) and to comfort–to help those who are labeled survivors to feel both safe and victorious. I appreciate the intention but honestly, I have no use for either recognition or a false sense of security while fighting my disease. What I do require is knowledge, courage, strength, hope, love and increased funding for cancer research. These are tangible tools that I can actually utilize as I go about the real work of staying alive.

I vow to honor the memory of those who had to leave this party far too soon. Your departures hurt and anger–but death cannot tear apart the connections we made in life.

My personal goal going forward? To shift my focus from surviving to thriving. So much of my life for the past two years, I have had to put on hold.

No longer. It’s full throttle from here on out as I plan to see and experience all that I can possibly cram into this life I call mine. To adventure!

Love you all and truly mean it and God loves you too,
Shanna xoxoxo

Here is the link to our Go Fund Me Page to help with medical and travel expenses: gofund.me/hope4shanna2016

Official blog Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/shannabananahealthandfitness 


Official prayer warrior page for my fight against lung cancer: facebook.com/hope4shanna





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