The Last Straw (that broke the camel’s back): The final, additional, small burden that makes the entirety of one’s difficulties unbearable.
Isn’t it interesting that there are so many idioms and colloquial expressions that mean “I’m done”?
The straw that broke the camel’s back (1816)
The last feather breaks the horses back (1829)
The final straw
Hitting a brick wall
Hanging up one’s gloves
The final stroke
I’m sure there are others. I’ve had a heck of a month. No worries – I actually thrive under (some) pressure. However, once in a while each one of us is simply not going to be able to take ONE MORE THING. That ONE MORE THING is often inconsequential and “small” in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps that is why we are so frustrated for breaking under what seems like a “small” thing.
I use to cry over everything. I mean, every, little thing! Happy, sad, angry, or confused, I’d unload some stress by crying my eyes out. These days I rarely cry. If I’m crying now, something is seriously wrong, or I have no reserves left and I’m “just done“.
I likely over-analyze things too much. When psychology is your main squeeze, you tend to analyze everything. I took a few minutes to think about why falling on my face and experiencing a short bout of vertigo set me off. I determined it was “the last straw“. Have you ever felt that way when burdened with one more “little” thing?
It is very normal to have days like that. We all have stress. Stress can be good – and bad. Do not confuse stress with burnout. How do you know if you are becoming burnt out? According to the Help Guide organization (2016),
You may be on the road to burnout if:
Every day is a bad day.
Caring about your work or home life seems like a total waste of energy.
You’re exhausted all the time.
The majority of your day is spent on tasks you find either mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming.
You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciatedI love this chart (for I am a “chart” kind of person). I think it does a terrific job explaining the difference between stress and burnout:
Stress vs. Burnout
Stress
Burnout
Characterized by overengagement Characterized by disengagement
Emotions are overreactive Emotions are blunted
Produces urgency and hyperactivity Produces helplessness and hopelessness
Loss of energy Loss of motivation, ideals, and hope
Leads to anxiety disorders Leads to detachment and depression
Primary damage is physical Primary damage is emotional
May kill you prematurely May make life seem not worth living
Source: Stress and Burnout in Ministry
As you can see, both stress and burnout can be dangerous. Short-term stress, and at times – chronic stress, are a normal part of life. The “last straw” can actually be a good thing if it means you do something to alleviate some stress.
I cried. I hugged my dogs. I over-analyzed to my heart’s content.
However, the “last straw” can also be a prerequisite to something far more dangerous.
So what do you do when you feel your knees buckle and your back breaking? Well the first step in successfully recovering from collapsed camel syndrome is recognition of the problem or problems. Take some time to evaluate where you are at in your life. Are you over-extended? If so, what can be cut out? Start working on de-stressing. What can you take off the back of your camel?
Are you getting enough rest and taking care of yourself by eating right, getting some fresh air and sunshine, and laughing out loud occasionally? If not, make it a priority to do those things. They can strengthen “your back“.
The Help Guide organization explains how we can unload some of the burden on our camel:
Burnout prevention tips
Start the day with a relaxing ritual. Rather than jumping out of bed as soon as you wake up, spend at least fifteen minutes meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you.
Adopt healthy eating, exercising, and sleeping habits. When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to deal with life’s hassles and demands.
Set boundaries. Don’t overextend yourself. Learn how to say “no” to requests on your time. If you find this difficult, remind yourself that saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to the things that you truly want to do.
Take a daily break from technology. Set a time each day when you completely disconnect. Put away your laptop, turn off your phone, and stop checking email.
Nourish your creative side. Creativity is a powerful antidote to burnout. Try something new, start a fun project, or resume a favorite hobby. Choose activities that have nothing to do with work.
Learn how to manage stress. When you’re on the road to burnout, you may feel helpless. But you have a lot more control over stress than you may think.
(Help Guide.Org, 2016, para. 23).
Finally, acknowledge how incredibly resilient camels are! In Arab cultures, the camel symbolizes patience, tolerance, and endurance. Yes, at times you will need to ask for (and hopefully receive) help. This is a terrific article on finding help: (Where to Begin: Finding Help During Chronic Illness).

Today is National Cancer Survivors Day. I can proudly say that I have survived 8 months with lung cancer. I hope to survive many more months and even years, regardless of what my prognosis is.

For the last eight months, I have always chosen to confront my disease head-on, to live it, embrace it, forcing myself to walk through the fires and feel the pain, in the belief that I would emerge from the other side stronger and wiser. But not this time. Running and hiding was what I wanted. It was what I needed as part of some kind of mental and emotional recuperation.
That’s what I’m supposed to do, right? Live as large as I can to show myself and the whole world and the cancer itself (as if it were some sentient being) that it cannot and will never defeat me. Bullshit! I call bullshit on myself and everyone else who constructs those facades.
Gone was the persona of my philosophical and sagely self who likes to talk about the evolution of the soul and putting one little life in the context of human history. In those moments and in the many moments since, I’ve been completely self-absorbed in my own life and my own pain. I told Kevin as I have often told him that if it weren’t for the kids, him and my promise to him to try to stay alive for as long as possible, I would stop all treatments and let the cancer run its course, living out my days in some other country doing what I have most loved to do all my life, learn a new language. And then when the pain became too much to bear, I would jump off a bridge to put myself out of my own misery in much the same way that we euthanize beloved suffering pets; I would do that kindness to myself. But I have a husband and children I love and so I can’t do that; I’m not supposed to do that.
Then, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I sobbed for my youthful innocence lost, for the destruction of my and Kevin's, Damion's, Kaitlyn's, and Tristan's dreams, for the shared familial memories that will never be. In those moments of utter and complete emotional pain, I wanted the irrational and the impossible; I wanted to travel back in time to warn the little girl and the teenager I once was of her fate so she could change it. I wanted the unknowable; I wanted time to be circular rather than linear; I wanted the afterlife to hold the promise of second and third and fourth chances, the opportunity to live this life again and again and again until I could get it just right, until Kevin and I could live out all our dreams together. But most of all, I wanted to simply live out this life, also an impossibility, it seems. I never pray for myself because I think to do so is supremely arrogant and selfish.
Why would God – if there is indeed a God and if he does in fact intervene in our lives – spare my life and not the life of an innocent child who deserves to live more than I? I would never dare to suggest to an all-mighty being that I am somehow more special than others. But in those desperately painful moments, I prayed to a God I’m not sure even exists that I be spared from this cancer.
Up to now, I’ve not written specifically about mine and Kevin’s relationship and how it has weathered the stresses and pressures of cancer. Kevin is a much more private person than I and I want to respect his need for privacy (although he very much encourages and supports my writing endeavors). Many, many people ask me how Kevin is doing and how we are doing as a couple. I want to answer those questions here because truthfully cancer has an incredible power to destroy relationships and the struggle to keep relationships whole and healthy is particularly arduous and, for some people, impossible. But I also want to answer those questions in a way that remains loyal and fair yet truthful vis-à-vis Kevin.
Sometimes, it feels like Kevin and I are on divergent paths, mine leads toward death and whatever awaits and his towards a new life without me but with the children and a new wife. My greatest fears are a painful death and not doing everything I want to do before I die. His greatest fear is going on without me. I am angry at him for the happy life I know he will rebuild after I am gone. He is angry at me for getting sick and dying. I feel endless guilt for having married him and dooming him to be a widower at such a young age and the children to lives without their mother. He feels endless guilt for not being able to save me. And so in all of our fears, anger, guilt and sadness we feel so alone, so lonely, so impotent in our inability to help each other, even though we know we love each other with a love as powerful as any love sung, written or talked about throughout the annals of history.
Kevin isn’t so into talking and sharing as I am and so I don’t think he gives people a chance to offer him support. Typical guy. And sadly, I don’t think caregivers get as much attention or support as cancer patients, even though their suffering is just as great. So for those of you who are Kevin's friends, I ask that you remember him and help him. Send him texts and emails. He may not respond – he’s terrible about responding to people generally – but I know he would really appreciate them. If you are comfortable, sharing your own trials and tribulations might even ease the unyielding sense of loneliness.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers this week as we move forward, truthfully very terrified but nonetheless resolute. We will pull away from the brink of insanity and we will find a new peace.
Love you all and truly mean it and God loves you too,
Shanna xoxoxo
Official prayer warrior page for my fight against lung cancer: facebook.com/hope4shanna
Official blog Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/shannabananahealthandfitness
Official blog Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/shannabananahealthandfitness
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