The kids have spent all weekend watching movies and TV with me. Saturday nights are our weekly "Ghost Adventures" nights. We absolutely love that show. I might be sick, but I always figure out some way of spending quality time with my babies. My sweet daughter is my caregiver when KB is working. She gets me drinks and makes sure I have enough blankets. She even volunteers to do extra chores to help me out. She is also a "Spoonie". She has a mild case of Cerebral Palsy called Kernicterus. She plays a big part in how I gain my strength. She is not a quitter and is determined to succeed no matter how long a task may take her. I have recently been able to give her more responsibilities so that she can feel more independent. She thoroughly enjoys being able to do more and help me as much as she can. Little man helps as much as he can, but mostly he just gives mama lots of hugs and kisses...and he loves to cuddle with me. My big man has the majority of the responsibilities, and though he complains from time to time, he still makes sure he gets his chores done. When he is in a really good mood, he gives me hugs and kisses too. Can't expect too many of those kisses from a seventeen year old, but hey, I take what I can get.
The next three days are going to be quite busy. I have to see my Cardiologist all three days; Monday for my Halter Monitor, Tuesday my Echo, Wednesday are my results. Also on Tuesday, I have Pre-Op. So, one week from Tuesday is the big day. I just have to breathe and have faith in my Creator to get me through this.
KB and I have separated and even divorced once in the 13 years we have been on and off again. Tonight, I am laying here trying to figure out why it is we keep coming back to one another. And how it is we have been more successful this go round than previous times. Our secret is simple, God.
If God was not the center of our relationship, I seriously doubt that we would be able to overcome and handle the challenges that have been thrown at us. During our separation and divorce, I dated. No-one compared to the love that KB gave me. No-one compared to the love he gave our children. The soul reason for this...we both have such a love of God and He is first in our relationship.
There is a difference in having a belief in God and allowing Him to be the center and foundation of your relationship. Without God, I do not think it is possible to understand how to fully love someone else. Without experiencing the love and grace from our Creator, I would not know how to share that with another.
I don't believe that love can be fully understood and experienced outside the context of God. God is love. With God as our foundation, we are able to raise our children in His love and grace. We are able to make each facet of love possible with God by our side. He is the top of our triangle. He is the third chord in our relationship. When we look through this lens, we are able to see things in a whole new light.
I am not saying that we have the perfect relationship. There are still some quirks we need to work out, but no relationship comes without these quirks. We are imperfect individuals but our foundation is strong and every day we strive to be more like Christ and love like Christ. When you do that, it changes things. It doesn't make the challenges go away, but knowing that we are not going through this alone gives us the strength to get through any obstacles; and the faith to know that God has a plan for our lives even when we don't know what it is. I am truly grateful that God led me back to KB.
So, though I am sick on top of being chronically ill, I still had a really good weekend. I spent time with my favorite people, had a great cry with my mom, and caught up on some much needed rest. I have a big surprise to share with all of you this week...but I cannot say anything quite yet! Stay tuned! It's huge! It is something that I need to do before surgery. And I promise, it is good news!
The week of the 22nd, I will not be able to blog until I get into a room, which could be 3-5 days depending on how my lungs are doing. I will attempt to blog and keep you guys all up to date as soon as I can. Don't worry, you will still have lots of reading material for the next week.
My temp is up to 104 so it is time for me to go to bed. Thank you all who take the time to read my blogs. I am seriously thinking about compiling all of them and creating a book. Oh! And, you can also become a follower here so you will be updated each time I write a new blog! I'd love to have you and correspond with you on Blogger! Sweet dreams and I hope you all have had an amazing Sunday!!
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