God's Love Shining Through

   Today, for the most part, was good. It takes Kevin way less time to adjust to new changes than it does me. He can just get up and go with the flow, while I almost feel like a child chasing behind him. Change has never been an easy thing for me to adapt to. 
   Illness has been a part of my life, well...for my whole life. I have always adapted to illness. This time is different. It is not just some little strep throat that we can cure and bam! I am better. This is huge. This is something that cannot be cured. So, in turn, I feel weak. I have cried more during this hospital stay than I ever have in my life.
   Yesterday, my best friends Jenny and Chris came to visit me. They told me that when they look at me, all they can see is God shining through. He lives inside of me. I truly believe that. I believe He uses me to speak to the world about His love eloquently. The truth is, no matter what, He will always love you. Change can almost destroy you, but God's love for you always stays the same. 
   I wish everything could go back to the way it was before I became sick. My life was wonderful. I never complained about never having enough because I have always been grateful for what I do have, so I know that this is not a lesson God is trying to teach me. I still see the good in people (even those who have treated me unjustly), and I appreciate everything I have been given. This is not punishment. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe my reason was to be an inspiration for others to never give up. 
   Giving up can not be an option for me. Mom and I had a good cry it out session over the phone today. We are going to fight this together. I cannot fight any battle without my mom at the front of the battle line with me. My children will be there in all their smiling glory....and then my husband will be their to hold my hand. With them all by my side, I cannot lose.
   Sooo...what do I want people to get from my testimony?  First, I want people to share my faith in God. There is so much ugliness in this world right now, and we need Him now more than ever! I want people to know the power of prayer. I cried out to God and He gave me the courage, strength, and peace I need to get though this battle. He heard my prayers and He gave me answers! I want people to realize how precious life really is and how quickly it can be taken away. I want you all to value your time on earth with your families. Hug your children just a little bit tighter. I want people to believe in miracles...because God will heal me and I will get my miracle. 
   The power of prayer is miraculous...Change may not always be a good thing...but God promises that it will be worth it.