And he carries the remainders of every glove that laid him down or cut him til' he cried out in his anger and shame,
I am leaving, I am leaving, but the fighter still remains.
Yes, he still remains." Simon and Garfunkel
My cancer is stable. This is as close to in remission as I could hope for. I am that fighter. I am God's fighter. For now, we are just going to watch the nodules on my chest, get my biopsy done on my cervix, and figure out what is going on with my brain. We are going to figure out a way to prolong my life even longer...even if it is just a year or two when it comes to my RBI-LD and my Pulmonary Fibrosis.
I am going to continue returning to those words to find the strength to keep going and not give up.
So, I find myself getting into the ring again when I didn't think I could or would. Inside I am trembling, but not enough to contain my desire to continue the fight.
I am an extremely sentimental person. The movie "Rocky" really played at my heart strings. I loved everything about his character: his accent, his tenacity, the way he waffled between confidence and self-doubt; the honest open way he pursued Adrian; his courage; the way he exceeded even his own expectation; his wisdom in the fact that winning is not truly everything, and the fact that in the end, when the crowds are clamoring for his attention, he looks back and reaches for the most important thing of all; Adrian.
And I suppose that is what I will have to do if that is what it takes to go to the final round. But I have to do so knowing that the victory is not in beating my opponent, a disease I cannot hope to assail, but in giving it everything I had before stepping out of the ring one last time.
I am holding on to dear life in more ways than just one.
Love you all and truly mean it! xoxoxo
Shanna
Blog Challenge: "How do I communicate with my friends and family about my cancer, and how do they cope with it?" I really cannot answer this question other than, I am very honest with all of them. My style has always been to be direct; even before cancer. But, I tell them the truth and expect that they are telling me their truth, too. My relationships with my closest friends and family are all intense. It's hard not to be when I have a pretty good feeling they are going to watch me die. And I'm very okay with that.
How they cope with my cancer is very hard for me to answer. So, here is my challenge to you. Over the next few weeks, I am asking my friends and family to send me snip-pets or notes letting me know how they cope with my cancer (thebrocks2001@att.net). I will post these notes one at a time on my blog as a reminder of why I fight. They say 1 in 14 will be diagnosed with lung cancer. That leaves 13 people who have to cope with their friend being diagnosed. I think this is a large enough group that is worthy to hear from.
Please send your notes either to the email address above or to my Facebook inbox. I am excited to hear from you!
LUNGevity National Hope Summit: I'm participating in an event to raise money to fight lung cancer—and I need your help!
I'm planning to attend LUNGevity Foundation's National HOPE Summit in Washington, DC, in May - it's a special conference just for lung cancer survivors like me. If I can raise $1000 or more in donations, LUNGevity will cover my travel expenses, including US round-trip transportation and hotel accommodations.
Proceeds from this fundraiser will benefit LUNGevity Foundation, the leading private provider of research funding for lung cancer. LUNGevity Foundation is firmly committed to making an immediate impact on increasing quality of life and survivorship of people with lung cancer by accelerating research into early detection and more effective treatments, as well as providing community, support, and education for all those affected by the disease.
Please join me in my efforts to stop lung cancer—the leading cancer killer—now! http://lungevity.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=15728
Official Prayer Warrior Facebook Page for my fight against lung cancer: facebook.com/hope4shanna
Official Blog Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/shannabananahealthandfitness
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