Never Pass an Opportunity to Pee

   We had a very busy school day today. We read Mark 8, learned about Champlain in History, read about invertebrates,learned about the almighty verb, worked on problem sets using decimal place values, and learned how to tell time in Spanish. While I am teaching the kiddos, I get to forget about cancer. I feel like more than just a mom...and my self-esteem is raised ten-fold. I absolutely love being able to teach my children. It is one of the biggest positive's in my life.

   Cancer is forcing me to learn a whole new kind of patience. Though I think I am finally starting to heal somewhat from surgery, I still do not have the energy I used to have. In some ways, because I feel close to normal it is all the more frustrating to force my limitations. I can't multi-task as seamlessly as I used to, which I attribute to the surgery and the cancer and all the millions of medication I am on. I find myself getting overwhelmed when I am trying to follow several things at once, whereas I used to thrive in these situations. This experience is forcing me (sometimes dragging me kicking and screaming) to become more patient with myself and accept that things may need to move at a slightly different pace now. I hate it.

   When something is right, don't wait!

   I don't mean to say act foolishly, just don't waste time doubting yourself and making excuses!

   When an exciting opportunity presents itself, say yes! Don't waste your life!

   I think this philosophy has been a big part of what drives me. As a result of this, I have led a pretty great life.

   But, I'm scared.

   That's okay, I'm scared too.

   I've been called fearless, but they're wrong.

   I'm sometimes beyond terrified.

   But sometimes beyond terrified...

   Is where you need to be.

   So now, I am trying to balance impatience with patience, and gain everything I can from both. I guess this is my gift from cancer...kinda wish I could've learned an easier way.

   Thank you to everyone sending their love and support. It really means so much to me.

   My wishes for you...

   Enjoy the moment,

   Play.

   Love.

   Laugh.

   Make mistakes.

   Be bold.

   Say yes.

   Live,

   And never pass up the opportunity to pee!

   These words are all intended for my kids one day...if I am no longer around, they will be able to go back and read just how much I love them, and get some pretty darn useful advice to help them grow. One day, they may read my words and I hope that will give them comfort and reassurance. It is a way for them to know me; to understand how I view the world, and what I find important about how we travel through life. I want them to know how much they motivate me to be a stronger person. And I want them to know and understand that I love them more than I could ever explain, and I will love them for all eternity.

   And now...finally...the tears are coming. Finally...the wetness is soaking my face. Finally, I am allowing myself to be human.

   2 Corinthians 4:15-16

All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the Glory of God. 16. Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.