CTCA Day 4

   I was pretty weak and just generally worn down yesterday. I had two scans, one MRI and the other a PET. Then, I met with my oncologist who told me that yet again, I have Pneumonia. My immune system is just not strong enough for treatment and never will be strong enough for chemotherapy. So, the plan is to come back in three months and start targeted radiation.Yes, I will lose my hair and still be extraordinarily sick, but that is why they also give me massage therapy and acupuncture to help with side effects. I actually went to bed at 8 last night.

   My type of lung cancer baffles even the doctors here at CTCA. See, all of my lung tumors are called primary tumors...but they could be different types of lung cancer. Confusing, indeed!! They want me to heal from the major surgery I have just undergone, and hopefully stay healthy. 

   Today, I had acupuncture therapy and loved it. Then we took a field trip to the Aquarium. It was pretty cool and the kids absolutely loved it. All courtesy of CTCA. We walked through the tubes and the sharks were going above our heads. I loved that part. So did the kiddos and KB. 

   Then we went to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse and decided it was as good a time as any to celebrate KB's birthday. He was treated with a huge massive Sundae. 

   So, when I got back to the room, my oldest called and told me he was broke because he spent the rest of his entire paycheck ($140.00) on a surprise for me. I told you God blessed me with three amazing children!

   My mom is missing me pretty badly and I am missing her just as much. I cannot wait to go home. So far, it looks like we get to go home tomorrow. YAY!!!!!!

   Lung cancer has really opened my eyes to so many things. Family is more important now than it ever has been before. I am blessed to also have so many friends who continually pray, offer words of encouragement and support, and love me. I am so ready to be cancer free.....even though my odds of winning this battle are against it, I believe with all of my heart, my soul, and faith that I will beat this.

   Sometimes, I feel so clueless, I thought my whole life would be completely different. I had no idea that any of this was coming but who the hell does? When we are younger, we have this sense of invincibility and that can be so dangerous. I pray and believe I will be here for Damion, Kaitlyn, and Tristan for a long time to come. I look back at all the stupid things I did and am so grateful I had my mother and my grandmother that cared so much. But me, I was totally clueless. If only we could see the future...I'm not sure I really would have done anything differently, except have a closer relationship with God, and appreciate the little things more. Time goes by so fast.

gofund.me/hope4shanna

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/shannabrock2/journal

https://www.booster.com/kickinglungcancersassforshanna

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   Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."