Just an Update and Randomness

  Surgery is scheduled for the 22nd of this month. Whew! That part is over. Now I no longer have to anticipate the when. She said if all goes well during surgery, she will remove the trach and the vent immediately after. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying that is what happens. I will be in the Surgical ICU for three days because I will have an Epidural and they need to monitor my blood pressure and heart-rate. Pre-op is scheduled for the 15th and I have to give 2 pints of my own blood just in case I lose too much blood during surgery. Now, I wait on the surgery. Ugh! Always waiting...but at least I have a date.
   Tomorrow I see my cardiologist for the first time. My surgeon wants him to do something about my high heart-rate before surgery. Hopefully, we can get that lowered by the big date. 
   My anxiety has calmed down some, so that is a great thing! I cooked dinner tonight, swept all the kitchen, did 2 loads of laundry, and did the dishes three times. I accomplished more today than I have in a while. I did not get to teach the kids today because they stayed with Nana so I could prepare for this appointment. So, they get to have Saturday school. They actually do not mind it, and neither do I. 
   My dog has become a royal pain in the rear. I am trying to train her to stay off the bed so that when I have surgery, I do not have to worry about her jumping on me and hurting me. As soon as I fall asleep, she is back in my bed nestled right beside me. I won't lie and say I don't love cuddling with my dog, but, sheesh! And when Kevin is off...she gets moody because he sleeps in her spot. I swear it is like I have another child when it comes to my dog.
   So, I used all of my spoons today, which is amazing! And, I was able to get a date set in stone for my surgery. Yes, I am still terrified of having this surgery, but come to find out, I am normal in being afraid. However; I have a very experienced surgeon who seems confident in her abilities to perform this procedure successfully. If you watch "Grey's Anatomy" at all, she is my real life Dr. Yang. She is very much in control and has no qualms in answering any questions you may have...and the best part, she is absolutely honest with you. No matter how scary the answer may be, she tells it like it is. 
  The fear is still there...but it is not controlling me like it was. I know I will be just fine, sore and in tons of pain, but I will be just fine. My mama told me so. And, God is not ready for my stubborn self just yet...I have too much left here to accomplish. Now, we pray that this yields all of the answers my millions of doctors need in order to move forward. 
   Life isn't always fair or smooth sailing for any of us. I'd like to be optimistic and hopeful that I am in this situation for a reason. Maybe I am in this situation to give others hope that life still goes on even when you are sick. Maybe I am in this situation to simply inspire people live in the moment. Or, maybe, I am in this situation to let others know they are not alone. All I do know is that everything happens for a reason. God puts us in certain situations and it is usually either to learn from it or help others with your knowledge. I have learned so much in the past year. I think that is what my next blog will be about...everything I have learned since becoming ill.
    But for now, my sleep medicine is kicking in and these words are all becoming terribly jumbled on my screen. Now I can sleep peacefully knowing I have a date. Sweet dreams loves! Promise to write more tomorrow! Keep smiling!